Grandmaster who changed his name to be first on the FIDE rating list.
pause in the game so that both players can get help from chess computers and
someone rated 200 points than you that can render his judgment not in your
favor after looking at the position for less than one minute.
type of battery for digital chess clock.
NOTATION: A way of recording games for those who can't describe them. Unlike the metric system, it was adopted by
the United States eventually.
AMATEUR: Someone who hustles in chess for money.
ANALYSIS: Proof by computer or master that you could
have won the game you lost.
a short, sharp-pointed nail.
PAWN: A pawn that lives deep in the
BISHOP: another Catholic caught in a sex scandal, or the only bishop you have
left on the board.
CHESS SET: Unrepaired chess set.
BATTERY: See Alekhine.
OPENING: a small hole in the side of a
coop. Named after
Henry Bird, who was nearsighted and always grabbed the wrong pawn on the first
PAIR: strange bed fellows.
OF OPPOSITE COLORS: a very strange couple.
A game of chess where the players move faster than they think.
A sacrifice made to get a tactical disadvantage, leading to a lost game. If the game is won, however, then it is
called a brilliancy.
What chess widows are at chess tournaments with their husbands.
A combinative sequence that didn’t lose and is easy to see once the solution is
CHESS: Team chess game where you can always blame your losses on your partner’s
bad opening when playing a well-endowed female.
BYE: A full point given to an odd player who has
nothing to do.
CENTER: For normal players, it is the d4, d5, e4, e5
squares. For hypermodern players, it is
the a1, a8, h1, h8 squares.
CENTER COUNTER: small table in the middle of a room.
A trap that loses a piece and is so obvious that only an idiot would fall for
it, and he does.
what chess players hate to hear at a tournament or restaurant.
CHECKMATE: A position a novice gets himself in because
he doesn’t know the words “I resign.”
CHESS: A game played on squares by squares.
LIFE: A magazine that comes out late once a month about tournaments that
occurred 6 months ago.
CHESS BOOK: A chess
book that people praise and don’t read. Usually written in descriptive notation.
opening for dog lovers
Series of moves that is too long for the average player to understand until
pointed out to him.
COMPENSATION: A lie that chess books and masters tell you
when you are a pawn down.
CHESS: the check really is in the mail.
On the Internet, it is a method of play to see who has the strongest
CROQUET: Chess with sweat.
GAMBIT: opening for pastry lovers.
BLUE: Joel Benjamin’s favorite color.
Something you find when walking around barefoot near a bulletin board.
DISCOVERED CHECK: one
that fell behind a desk long time ago.
CHECK: Something you do when you shopped
at Target recently.
DRAW: Something that Marcel Duchamp was good at.
DUFFER: Any chess player who can beat you 3 times in
a row, and won’t play you again.
ENDGAME: Punishment for missing a win before move
20. It is your last opportunity to miss
a draw or win.
IN CHESS: Undefined.
FIANCHETTO: Pinnochio's last
FISH: A weak player that falls for all your traps
and still wins.
MATE: A chessplayer's
FORESIGHT: The ability to play in those chess
tournaments that you are sure you are the highest
rated player and are sure of winning.
DEFENSE: a Maginot line.
LIVER ATTACK: a form of indigestion.
GAMBIT: An unsound sacrifice in the opening.
BISHOP: Your opponent’s bishop, and you can’t block it.
GRANDMASTER: A player so strong, that he can draw all his
DRAW: A short game in which both players
are afraid of each other.
GAMBIT: opening for wrestlers.
If-Move. A method of predicting the
next move to shorten a postal chess game from 12 months to 11 months and 3
HANGING PAWN: A pawn
that committed suicide (could also be a poisoned pawn).
HELPMATE: Your spouse when you are sick in bed and
ILLEGAL: a sick bird.
J’ADOUBE: French for “if I move this piece, I may lose
KIBITZER: A spectator that gives good advice to your
opponent and bad advice to you.
INDIAN REVERSED: NAIDNI SGNI’K.
KNIGHT ENDING: dawn.
GAME: Something your opponent had for
the past 10 moves, before he won.
MAROCZY: A chess master who always got in a bind.
BIND: an unusual form of constipation.
ATTACK: a civil rights revolt.
VICTORY: A term used to make the loser
feel better after he got crushed.
FILE: A Word document that you are
OVERPROTECTION: A term coined by Aron
Nimzowitch about his relationship with his mother.
PIN: A sharp move.
RANK: A military term for enlisted men and
officers. 1st rank could be a
2nd Lieutenant. 7th
rank could be a general.
ROBIN: Fat bird.
SACRIFICE: Any piece that was left unprotected and taken
LOYD: An endgame composer always causing
SANDBAGGER: Person who helps out during floods and
MATE: a bigamist.
VARIATION: taking a nap before noon.
SKITTLES: Fruit-favored candy.
STALEMATE: a spouse who keeps repeating the same old
DEATH: What happened to Paul Keres, Jose Capablanca, and
SWINDLE: The only way an opponent can be beaten.
SWISS-SYSTEM: A pairing system full of homes.
TIE: What you wear with a suit.
TRAP: Something you saw, but forgot about until you
fell into it and lost.
NOVELTY: A old,
forgotten move that excites a master.
WON GAME: Any game
WOODPUSHER: lobbyist for the timber industry.
ZUGZWANG: German for "constipated." The term is used when it hurts to move.